That's definitely a good idea, it seems like you don't really know why it's happening. A good psychologist should be able to get to the bottom of it. I hope it's free where you live as there are many bad psychologists that have no idea what they're talking about. I hope you don't have to deal with one. But, you could maybe check to see if they're any good by googling their names and reading the reviews, if there are any.
Candykandy last edited by
I have had this some sort of detachment feeling towards people that I've met ever since I graduated from secondary school. For example, I may look like I am friends with them but in reality I do not count them as my friend, they are basically, just there. The number of people that I feel close, comfortable secure and loved is less than 10 but I do not have this emotion towards my own mother.
Most people I've met throughout the years all share the same qualities, they look at things on the surface. I know I am not that good looking but I also know I am fun and most of the time I feel like I'm being ignored. Whether I'm buying something or trying to strike up a conversation in a new environment. Although people think their body language may be subtle to others but it affects me a lot. That same group of people that ultimately want to be friends with me, only after seeing me with people I am comfortable with but by then I would have close myself off them. These went on for years and finally I've generalized Human beings to be a hypocritical monsters that look at things on the surface and thus, makes it really hard for me to trust others, let alone be friends with them. I was fat back then (still fat now) but I've lost a lot of weight and do look different from back then but I still could not shake this emotion away.
I've tried suicide before but non was successful. And ultimately I gave up on that too.
I'm really curious as to how I am able to rectify this and to open myself to others again. I've been bottling up my feeling for years and this is also the first time I am writing my thoughts down. I guess I'm getting tired of crying myself to sleep every night.