i see, thank you for your answer.
now i just need to learn how to not care about other people anymore, this will be very hard for me
if only my subconciousness wouldnt trigger certain emotions in certain situations. i sometimes feel like i would be a small boy again, who cant stand his ground.
i already knew that my thoughts have a huge impact on my feelings, but the same could also be said about the opposite.
my feelings seem to influence my thoughts. its like a circle.