So very lost

[MaddietheGreat308]

Lately, I have been feeling very lost. I am not allowed out of the house because I'm grounded. I don't have anyone besides family. In person, at least. I have a boyfriend but we met online and I have a while before I can actually see him in person. I live in a house with over 9 people, not including myself. I, more often than not, hide in my bedroom to escape the crowded house. I have nothing to do as my hobbies require inspiration. Lately, my inspiration has been quite lacking. My boyfriend can make me happy for some time but sometimes even while we speak I get extremely bored. He isn't boring or anything and we make good conversation but I just can't find joy from it sometimes. I know it has nothing to do with him.

I don't know what to do; I'm practically going insane. I am diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and I can assume that is the reason behind it. I go to therapy and take meds. I felt like it was under control because I don't have my low moments and I'm not suicidal anymore. I don't get sad like I used to. But now I feel so restless and uncomfortable (physically) and I need to do something stimulating or I'll go mad.