What's on your mind right now???
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[quote='Crystal' pid='146' dateline='1365053098']
Hmmmm...computer science has a lot of things. I had a friend who was studying it too and he was always complaining about physics and programming. However, he managed to get his diploma (I really don't know how, because he was extremely lazy).I'm studying accountings. I didn't even choose that major (my beloved daddy never gave me an alternative). I was too young when I finished highschool and, obviously, no one would hire me. Anyway, two years ago, I left everything behind and said it was time for me to do something different (I sincerely hate accountings). What happened next??? I couldn't find a job, my parents almost killed me and I had to leave my house for three days, because my mother didn't want to see me. Finally, I returned and I have one year left.
Perhaps you were depressed and unmotivated before??? you have to think about it, Emotion. When you've finally decided if that's what you want, just go for it. Otherwise, find another alternative (although, you should discard this option, since you said the only thing you liked was computer science).
You seem intelligent and I'm sure you'll find a solution.
[/quote]I was depressed and unmotivated and I still am. I can't learn from the current methods of teaching in our education system. I can't just sit there and listen to some person talking about a concept for hours without really getting to the point of it.
In high school, I coped with this problem by finding educational videos on math. I got lucky and found a YouTube channel that was run by a teacher in the same school board my high school was registered with. The videos were roughly 10-20 minutes long and explained everything I needed to know about the chapter my peers were learning. I actually would procrastinate watching the videos and would only watch them the night before I had a test. I never did the homework because it was a waste of time in my opinion; homework has never helped me in the past.
I ended up getting an 85 in that class, but only because of the videos. I'm pretty sure I would have failed had those videos not been available. Whenever I'm trying to listen to the teacher, I just space out and end up in another world.
I tried searching for videos for my computer science program courses but couldn't find any. I just gave up after that. I managed to pass 4 of 5 of my courses in the first semester and I dropped out of the second.
I'm not intelligent, and it's been a year since I dropped out and I have yet to find a solution.
Anyway, you seem intelligent yourself, you graduated high school early. Your parents are most likely trying to make sure you get a good paying job, but forcing you to choose a major you don't want is over the line. You're pretty much a robot in their eyes; putting you on the path they think is best, but not letting you choose what you want. After you graduate, apply for accounting jobs in Canada and move there. You can study at a University part-time and still work.
You'll be able to break free from your parent's prison.
[quote='Crystal' pid='154' dateline='1365100702']
Today, I feel extremely depressed...
I have no motivation at all
I hate this life...so much
[/quote]Are you depressed because of your parents?
I know what it's like to have no motivation at all. In fact, I've had zero motivation for the past 2 years. On a blue moon, I would get 50% of my motivation back and would something productive; that's how I built this site. I hate not feeling like doing anything all day. I just endlessly browse the Internet.
If it gets bad enough, could you see a psychiatrist? Would your parents allow you?
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I don't know what you think about long distance learning??? do you think it might work??? It could be a 'solution'. I know it's possible to get a diploma, if you do it. Besides, you won't have to deal with those guys talking for hours and hours (I totally understand it. I used to fall asleep during these classes). By the way, if you don't mind me asking: how was the relationship between you and the others there??? (when I say others I'm talking about professors and classmates).
Anyway, there must be something that caused your depression and lack of motivation. You have to find it out and solve it, because that's going to be an obstacle for the rest of your life. I'm sure it wasn't caused without an apparent reason (even if it's subconscious). Have you ever received psychological treatment???You're intelligent. Otherwise, you would have never approved those subjects in HS. Don't say you're not or you'll end up internalizing those thoughts and opinions of yourself. Our minds play games with us and, unfortunately, we let them win
Thanks for the advice, Emotion. I sincerely appreciate it and yeah, you're right.
Well, you've said it all: my parents think I'm some type of robot. They just want me to be perfect. I know we'll never be able to reach perfection, but I simply learned to push myself to the limits (because that's how I was raised).
I tried to leave my university two years ago and get a job, although it was a failure. I had to return and accept it all. As soon as I get my diploma, I'll leave...I don't know what I'm gonna do, but I simply want to leave my past behind and forget about university and some other things.
Well, I was seeing a psychiatrist in 2008. She gave me some meds (I still take them, because I get extremely depressed). She said I had to take my father with me once and...sighs...it was just horrible. After that, he didn't talk to me for 5 months. I decided to stop the treatment and only take the meds. I don't know if that might work or not, I would have to take that option into account -
I'm not sure about long distance learning. Yeah, it could be a solution. I never really had a social life when I was in university. I didn't talk much to my classmates or professors other than when I needed to.
I've been seeing a psychiatrist for over a year now, but so far it hasn't helped much.
Good luck on moving on with your life. One of the biggest regrets people have in their deathbeds is that they didn't pursue their dreams, don't let that happen to you.
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Yeah, I definitely understand. I don't enjoy talking to others and all, but I do it when I have to. I believe it's exhausting...it drains your energies...talking, smiling, being someone different...argh.
I'm sorry to hear that you have to see a psychiatrist. Sometimes, I wonder if therapy really works (it might be helpful for some people, but maybe it's not a solution for others).
Thanks for the wishes
I also hope you can find a solution to those problems. You seem to be a very young person and it's sad to hear you're in that situation...but you'll manage -
[quote='Emotion' pid='195' dateline='1365485078']
What's the subject? Maybe I can help?
[/quote]Oh, well, it was something related to derivatives. I finally found out how to do it...
Thank you for offering your help. I really appreciate that and I think it's cute
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Problems everywhere.
Have you ever felt that you want to disappear or escape from everything and everyone???
I have no control at all of my life...I'm so disappointed of myself. I used to think I was a very rational person, but I'm so weak...deep inside, I'm made of...nothing.I just don't know what to do with myself anymore...things make no sense.
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Oh no
Are you feeling depressed?
You're not weak, and you're most definitely made up of something. Do you want to talk about why you feel this way? Make a [url=http://www.emotionforums.com/forumdisplay.php?fid=7]new thread in which ever forum[/url] you think is suitable if you want to talk about it.
