Emotion Forums

Ya I'm actually trying my hands on meditation for various reasons. Kinda helps. Trying to keep myself busy too. Thanks though.

Ok..here it goes..

Some things have been eating me up and well, not sharing them with anyone and bottling them up is kind of gestating.
So, I guess I'm gonna share it with whoever reads this.

There's this girl I met in freshman year and we became really good friends. In fact so good that we shared everything from out past, present and future, literally talking day in day out in every way possible. It wasn't long that it became kind of an addiction.
At least for me it seemed this way and felt kind of same from her side too.

A year passed by and suddenly one day she entirely ceased any form of contact. She wouldn't speak, wouldn't even reason for her strange behavior all of a sudden. So obviously I started to think of something I may have said or done to upset her to such a great extent.

Almost another year passed by, I started acting casual around her and we started talking again, but like with any other friend. After almost 6 months or so, in a conversation one thing led to another and she herself explained the reason of her previous behaviour. The strange part is it was a really really lame reason she gave which felt half explained/made up and what not, although it revealed nothing happend because of something I did. All I knew was I wasn't satisfied with the reason for all I'd suffered. It was devastating and one of the most worst experiences of my life I can never possibly forget.

We still don't talk much but everything looks normal and fine on the outside. On the inside, I can never ever forget how she worse she made me feel. With time, initially I kind of developed dark, remorseful, revengeful feelings towards her which are fading away real slow, not that I don't care about her, but I certainly don't want to show it anymore.

I really hope this fades away at a much faster rate when I complete my degree one month from now.