Unhappy @ Happy Times.
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A confusing title for sure - '<b>Unhappy @ Happy Times</b>'.<br />
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Happy times, ok, birthday's, Christmas - you get the idea, my question is why do these times which should be full of joy make me sad?<br />
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<b>Does anyone else feel this ?</b><br />
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[quote='Crystal' pid='553' dateline='1412047015']
[size=3]Does anyone else feel this?[/size] [size=3]I do too! [/size][size=3]But I sincerely don't know why this happens. [/size][/quote]Thank goodness it isn't just me, we need to try and work this one through I think.
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I have been thinking about the answer to these question for a couple of days, because, as I previously said, I've been there as well. I believe the answer to this question is an individual matter.
For example, when I'm 'happy', I start thinking about the fact that this feeling is just temporary and it'll soon disappear, due to the fact that 'happiness' is more like an ilusion. It'll never be there for the rest of your life... -
[quote='Crystal' pid='560' dateline='1412128848']
I have been thinking about the answer to these question for a couple of days, because, as I previously said, I've been there as well. I believe the answer to this question is an individual matter.
For example, when I'm 'happy', I start thinking about the fact that this feeling is just temporary and it'll soon disappear, due to the fact that 'happiness' is more like an ilusion. It'll never be there for the rest of your life...[/quote]Yes that's differant. I tend to go into dark moods prior to the event and on the day itself (lets say birthday) my mood is so black - I'm so low & depressed !
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When I was little I remember Christmas and my birthday were my favorite times of year. I was very excited about what new toys I would get. In time the things people could give me became less and less fulfilling for me. Eventually special occasions became unsettling for me because I would feel as if something precious was lost. In time I realized that these occasions are often falsely represented as having some special ability to bring joy and peace into our lives. Of course we have the power to choose to live a more joyful life if we want that, but there isn't an occasion that can reliably bring it to us.
Holidays do not disturb me so much anymore, though I see much less value in them now. Each day is an opportunity to connect to life in a way that is more deeply meaningful to me and more fulfilling. As I consistently choose to live a life that is meaningful to me, even if I'm not quite sure how to go about doing that, in time I become aware of what leads me a little closer and what leads me a little further away from my goal.
I also relate to the idea that happiness cannot last, and for me it was because a sense of happiness used to be mostly happenstance that may or may not show up. I couldn't really appreciate it because I knew it wasn't reliable. Eventually I decided that happiness without reliability is worthless to me, because it only reminds me of what I do not have. In choosing to find a way to be reliably happy and peaceful, I realize it is possible if that is what I choose to do. Not all at once, but in making a decision to pursue it I am also acknowledging that it is possible, which is a prerequisite for attaining almost anything in life.
There is no day better than today for choosing that we want to be consistently happy. There is a pathway there. For me as I become more consistently content I am able to consider those parts of life that I used to want to just turn away from because I assumed there was only hopelessness to be found. But with each time I find wholeness in life I become increasingly certain that I can find it in those darker areas of life that seemed unreachable at first. Instead of pulling away and closing my eyes, I become curious and look to see what is going on. This thread about Holidays is a wonderful example of being willing to look at something that perhaps for years conjured a subtle sense of emptiness without really being noticed.